Anyway, by Tuesday afternoon, after 2 days of Mike being sick and without adequate rest and recovery for myself, and with Alek having a very rough day with healing, refusing to nap, and cutting his first two teeth on top of that (and crying all day), I had an emotional meltdown. I was so exhausted and frustrated that I was just shaking and couldn't think, couldn't hear, couldn't do anything. The good news is I got through the moment. And it reminded me that you can't be everything to everyone, and more important, you can't be anything to anyone unless you take care of yourself.
I've been letting a lot of things slide lately, telling myself I needed to get through Alek's surgery first. But now it's time to address them, take care of myself so that I can take care of him. I'll write the list down here so that I can hold myself to it!
- Get more help with child care. This is key. I can't balance working from home with child care without adequate help. I've been putting this off because I was worried about the cost, but it's time to get serious about it and hire multiple caregivers and figure out a schedule.
- Get Alek on an eating and nap schedule. I figured I could just respond to his needs as they arose, and this worked fine when he was very little. But now he's getting older and more demanding, and for my own peace of mind, I need more predictability in the day. We got him on a great sleep schedule, so this should be doable too.
- Get my knee fixed. My knee has been messed up for a couple of months now, and it's keeping me limited in what I can do at the gym. It hurts on long walks too, so I avoid going outside and enjoying the nice weather. There are a couple of issues going on with it, and a couple things I can try before surgery, but it might come down to another scope (a fairly minor surgery which I had a few years ago). I need to get a plan for getting it better and enact that plan.
- Catch up on medical appointments. I am 5 months overdue for both the eye doctor and the dentist. It's not good for me to put this off and it's been nagging at me. I just need to get it on the calendar so I can stop thinking about it.
- Find a hairdresser and make an appointment. I love getting my hair cut, and I need it badly. Once my hair gets too long, it just drives me nuts. But I never did find a regular hairdresser after moving from Pennsylvania (12 years ago!) and I usually just wait way too long, then panic and go to one of those drop-in places, which makes me totally anxious because I don't know how it's going to turn out. It's a combination of not knowing how to find someone and being too cheap to pay real prices. But I got a recommendation for someone yesterday and I'm going to try them out ASAP.
- Get back on a regular blogging schedule. I love writing and blogging, but lately it's the first thing I let slide. It's not just another item on my to do list, it's something I do for myself. So I need to make it higher priority.
- Find regular hours to be in the office. I love working from home, but even just a couple hours a week in the office would boost my productivity.
- Get my home office in shape. Since the move, my home office is workable but not the happiest, most productive work space it can be. It's cluttered with random stuff that hasn't found another home. I need to take the time to clear it out and set it up right, remove or hide the visual clutter so I can focus.
- Find time to read. I miss reading non-work stuff. As the weather gets warmer, I start to get my summer reading cravings. Time to indulge them a bit.
- Get outside. I always feel better after spending time outside. Making sunshine a priority will make me feel a lot better.
I'll leave you with a few links:
- Oven Braised Artichokes from Gourmande in the Kitchen
- Puzzle piece magnets from Wee Wonderfuls
- The Outernet from Graph Jam
- Knitting Essentials from Things Organized Neatly: