Wednesday, June 22, 2011


Some things I miss today
  • Being able to breathe normally when I'm sitting down (I feel like an elephant is sitting on my chest)
  • Being able to concentrate on ANYTHING for more than 5 minutes
  • Having the energy and motivation to work out and use that as an outlet
  • Feeling like a calm, confident adult rather than an emotionally volatile, insecure teenager
  • Not being sleep-deprived
I know I shouldn't complain. I'm very excited to become a mom and grateful that after so much time and struggle it's finally happening. But it gets pretty hard, with the day-to-day pregnancy stuff and hormone levels that I DO NOT do well with. Along the way, everyone tries to scare you with their horror stories of labor and delivery and the early sleep-deprived weeks with an infant. But none of that scares me, I actually feel no anxiety about any of it. By then the goals will be concrete: get baby out, feed baby, take care of baby. I know I can do all that and he'll be a real person that I can actually see. I'm eager to get to that point. Now I feel like crap and can't do anything right, but I know I can't afford to fail now, and it's a lot of pressure. But I get that complaining is really not cool because after all, I wanted this. I just don't know how people cope with the pressure and stay positive, because I feel like I'm running on empty a lot of the time.

Anyway, it's just 11ish more weeks, I'll make it.

On a lighter note, here are some links for you to enjoy.


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