Friday, December 10, 2010

Work in progress

Today's WOD:

HSPU 1-2-3-4-5-5-4-3-2-1

(stacked up the 45# and 10# plates)


21-15-9 reps for time of:

wallballs 10# 10' target

My time: 11:31. Tried the "relax the face muscles" thing again, but I think I relaxed too much and didn't have the sense of urgency in the workout. That's okay though, it was a good workout anyway.

Work in progress

Do you view yourself as a work in progress? Or do you see yourself as a finished product, a fully formed person who participates in life? For me, I'd have to go with the first. I am always trying to improve myself, whether it's my performance at the gym, my approach to work, how I interact with people, or even defining aspects of my personality. But in this process, I think it is easy to lose a bit of yourself. It can also look, from the outside, like you don't value yourself, like you are a pushover.

I know people who fall in the second category. They say, I am what I am and that's not going to change. People can like it or leave it. For them, every experience is not a test, an experiment, an opportunity for improvement. I'm a bit jealous of these types. What would it feel like to just say, "I'm good"? A burden off your shoulders. But also, a limitation, because if you don't push yourself and try to interact with the world in new ways, how do you learn and grow as a person? Maybe you're just fine the way you are, but maybe you could be better, happier, more fulfilled. Maybe you could make other people happier.

How do you strike a balance? How do you continue in a quest for improvement without undermining your own self worth? Sometimes I think it's important to take a stand, to defend yourself, ask for better treatment, or even just remind yourself of something you're good at or proud of. If you do this all the time, you're being demanding or needy or arrogant. But if you do it once in a while, it's just asserting your worth as a person. It's saying, "I may not be perfect, but I'm all right."

While I struggle with this balance in many aspects of my life, I think that how it manifests in training is very concrete, and a good allegory for other areas. Keep seeking improvement, but also take pride in where you are now. Or in the words of Audioslave, "To be yourself is all that you can do." You can be your best self, but it's still just you.

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