Thursday, November 4, 2010

Getting caught up and a few thoughts on anger

I missed posting a couple of workouts this week, so getting caught up:

Tuesday's WOD:

200 meters of team tire flips 500# tire

then

4 rounds for time of:

10 hang power cleans 55#
20 wallballs

My time: 8:02. Then stayed and worked on snatches up to 80#.

Wednesday's WOD:

4 rounds for time of:

12 pull-ups
18 hang power snatches 50/40/40/40#

My time: 11:12.

Both sprints with very light Oly lifts. It's frustrating to lift so light when I spend so much time trying to get better at lifting heavy, but I guess that's how it goes. At least on both of these workouts my time was a little better than the day's average, which I guess was the point of scaling so much. And recovery was good, nice and quick.

I don't know why I get so mad about scaling, I wish I didn't. I know it's not rational. But people don't always act rationally. I'm learning that rather than trying to control my emotions, it's better just to go ahead and get mad (but still stay focused until I finish the workout), steam and stomp around for a few minutes afterward, and then I can let it go pretty quickly and feel fine about it by the time I leave the gym. For me, denying my emotions or trying to talk myself out of them just intensifies them, plus adds a big helping of guilt on top of everything. So what if I have a temper, as long as I can get back to a positive place once I let off steam. Better than trying to suppress my rage and feeling miserable all the time.

Does anyone else struggle with this? Does anyone feel that their deepest emotions come out during a tough workout, that a small thing can send you spinning? It's hard to separate drive from anger, for me at least. I see people who seem to be naturally mellow all the time. I don't know how they can draw out enough intensity to get through these workouts. To get that intensity, I have to dig for some rage, and I usually get a little more than I bargained for. I'd love to hear people's experiences with this. Heck, people are not all the same, and if we were, it would be an awfully boring world.

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