**Last-minute reminder - the Brew and Stew is tomorrow, starting at 2 (but you can show up later). No need to RSVP at this point, you can just show up. It turns out we do get Spike TV, so we will have the UFC fight on at 7. I'm making a ridiculous amount of stew, so bring your appetites! Leave a comment or email me if you need party info/directions.**
Yesterday's WOD: Fausto
5 rounds for time of:
10 pull-ups 2 bands
20 boxjumps 20"
25 wallballs 14-16#
My time: 38:56. This was an improvement on the last time I did this WOD (I think it was 42 minutes, but I don't have it recorded), and I increased the height on the box jump and the weight on the wall ball. I decided to be a big stickler on form and to go heavy on weight (for the wall ball), and I ended up taking more than 10 minutes longer than most of the others. Which basically made me feel pretty terrible about myself and ruined my evening (and Mike's by extension - sorry Mike!).
This leads me to a question: how do you decide when to slog through a workout and when to make it a little easier on yourself so you can match the times of other people doing it? I would love feedback from other CrossFitters on this. Both Margaret and Mike pointed out to me that sometimes it is about the sprint, and you need to decrease weight/difficulty to keep the spirit of the workout. When I take almost 40 minutes for a workout and someone else takes 25, I'm essentially doing a different workout than they are.
I decided ahead of time that this week would be my Lift Heavy And Absolutely No Cheating Week, and I stuck to it. But I know that my very strong tendency is towards absolutely no cheating and longer times, and I'm worried that by being so strict I could be limiting my training and not changing the metabolic pathways. With CrossFit workouts, it's a no-brainer that you need to push yourself hard every time. But sometimes the question is how to push yourself.
For example, Mike did the 12 days of Xmas workout with light weight, and even though he could have lifted way more weight, it was very intense because it was really fast and anaerobic, something he couldn't have achieved with a heavier weight. As a contrast, when I did the Pinky and the Brain challenge workout, it was a total slog fest, not because I went heavy, but because of the sheer number of reps. I know that my >1.5 hour workout was qualitatively different from other people's <1 hour workouts.
With yesterday's workout, I think I could have cut at least 5 minutes from my time if I had gone with a 10# medicine ball, maybe another 5 with a short box. But because I have now done workouts with a 14# ball and a 20" box, I don't want to go back to scaling those things. I don't know, maybe I'm overly concerned with cheating, at the expense of keeping the spirit of the workout. Maybe it's because I feel like I'm training mentally too, and using that heavier weight or that higher box is what pushes me the most mentally. I think that this is essentially a speed vs. difficulty tradeoff, and there are different perspectives on how to make that tradeoff. The problem is that I feel bad if I know I could have done more (weight, reps, etc.), but I feel really bad when I'm always the last one done, especially if I'm way behind like I was yesterday.
It's especially crushing to my ego because I'm not a natural athlete, and not one thing that we do in CrossFit comes easily to me. Weeks to get that box jump, months to get a handstand, will be many more months to get a pull-up. At least if I'm doing everything right, if I'm a stickler, if I'm upping my weights, then I have that to hold onto. I'm a very competitive person, and as much as I know it should NOT be about comparing myself to anyone else, in moments of weakness, it kills me to feel like the slow kid in the class, the last one to get things. Maybe this is short sighted, and maybe it's not the best way to improve. My goal at CrossFit is to push myself harder, always harder. It seemed like a clear enough goal, but after enough of these slog-fests, I'm second guessing what that even means. I should not leave a workout like that and go home and cry about not being good enough; this is not what it's all about. These are ups and downs I'm sure everyone goes through. How do you deal with it? How do you stay positive?
On a lighter note, it is Mike Hat Eye Candy Friday:
And here are the promised pictures of tiny outerwear (ornaments). The blue and white mittens are for you, Mom. They match your socks! The other two ornaments are for my two aunts.